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November 24 It's ROLE that makes RELATIONSHIP happier For the last several years, i have been talking to several executives of my own organisation about ROLE PLAY. I have equally been listening to various lectures on ROLE PLAY by different management gurus at various levels. All of us who talk on RELATIONSHIPS equally have a word on ROLE. It is the understanding or the lack of it that is cause of all happiness or sorrow in relationships. And, make no mistake, this concept of ROLE PLAY operates not only in your official role, but in your familial as well as social environment also. I should not be mistaken if i stretch this concept to religious beliefs also.
What is this ROLE? Every one and each one of us have various jobs during the course of a day. These jobs are essentially duties, functions, obligations, responsibilities as voluntarily taken by ourselves or imposed on us by familial, social or professional environments. Take your professional environment, for example. You are an official at some stage in the hierarchy of your organisation. You are the boss of several but at the same time,you have a boss also. As a boss, you will have to plan, organise, staff, delegate and gather valuable data from subordinates whose compliance you insist. At the same time, you are reporting to your superior, who trusts that you will be managing the show on his behalf. You are a delegator as well as a delegatee at the same time. Can you afford to talk to your boss in the same way as you talk to your subordinates? Think for a while.
Enter a familial environment. Ram is the Head of a family. Ram has wife and two children. His aged parents live with him. Now, Ram is a husband to his wife, father to his children, and son to his parents. As a Head of Family his role is something that rules over all the rest. Nevertheless, observe his interactions with his parents vis-a-vis his children. What is perceptible is the difference in his ROLE. The needs of his aged parents quite vary with the needs of his children, and it is his imperative duty to synchornise his time energy resources as to suit both. He has to set priorities. He has to understand what is important and what is urgent.
Me and my wife have recently been hospitalised . The director of the clinic is a well known cardiologist also functioning as a general physician. His clinic employs a little more than 60 employees of various denominations. A few doctors, lots of nurses, pharmacists, lab technicians, auxillar staff devoted to maintenance of infrastructure, maintenace of building, etc. Now as a director he manages the entire show single-handedly. At the same time, he oversees the functions of his immediate fellow physicians ensuring that they attend to the immediate needs of the inpatients, ensures that the nurses pay undivided attention to the in patients. A lot of delegation is essential, but whether the delegation is full or exhaustive decides how far is he successful in the running of his clinic. His ROLE towards patients, co-doctors, nurses, lab technicians, supportive staff vary . As they vary they must all synchornise also, and unless he ensures that this happens he can never be complacent.
Now, when this doctor goes home, he attends to his mother who is ailing. There he becomes a son who fondly tends to the needs of his mother. Here he is not only a doctor, but a nurse, a care provider as equally a health provider.
Many of us, why ? most of us have different roles to play. Some of the roles are simultaneous. We must ensure that these roles complement one another, not contradict one another. And this ensures that we live at peace. February 15 Let there be HappinessIt lies in one's nature that one must always be happy. "Sarveh Janaah Sukhino Bhavanthu " is and should be our Prayer to the Almighty. Since you and I are included in the "Sarveh Janaah" it goes without saying that when all are happy, then, I must bound to be happy. If, despite, this feeling, I continue to be unhappy, it is a warning signal that something inside rebels against the very existence of our belief in God's ways of showering happiness. Possibly I feel that I must be happy to the exclusion of the other, that I must be away from that other and that I should possibly be happier than what other human beings like me feel. This, of course, is a senseless feeling which takes us away from God. If only we feel, we get what we deserve, and we must be ever be grateful to God to whatever He has given us, this feeling of unhappiness will not usurp our inner peace. So, once one feels that one is unhappy, the remedy is to fall at the feet of God, ask for His forgiveness. And again, and again, make a definite resolve to surrender before Him. Noble souls have reiterated the principle of Surrender, which is Absolute Saranagathi. Yoga provides an answer to how u prepare for this Surrender to God. Let us listen to the voice of Sri Aurobindu All our nature must make an integral surrender; that which seems to the unregenerated sense-mind - The Synthesis of YogaJanuary 01 A Prayer for the New Year 2008Oh Lord— Let the breeze of divinity blow here
always A prayer Let none be denied of your bountiful grace. Forgive our ignorance, forgive our
sins To make this a reality, a dream come
true *Slightly Modified to suit all Humanity. Courtesy: www.namadwaar.org
October 10 Change is not (perhaps) the Order of the Day.There was a question in the Yahoo Answers ! a few days back. The question was somewhat like this: What change would you like to see in the world around around and what you and I should be doing for that? As I pondered over the purport of this question, I realized that it could not be the premises of the questioner that the universe with all the animate and inanimate objects within is not changing at all. That everything changes stands accepted by all. But whether these changes happen to the likes of all is the root on which the present question is based. Do all the changes that happen in and around the world that lead to enhanced levels of awareness, information and knowledge of the people, add to the quality of human life and environment ? Possibly changes are happening quantitatively not qualitatively. When quantitative changes happen there is not much of a strife. But when qualitative changes arise there arises a commotion. It is apparent that human race is divided into two distinct categories: One, who wants swift changes. Another, who is rebellious at any change. We are torn between the two. So, what shall we do to see that the two sections are bridged? And that is what perhaps the big question. What is the change you and I would like to see in this world. May 30 Let Everyone live happily.Long long ago, when I was faculty at a Training Centre, I was talking to my listeners on HUMAN RELATIONS.
And, during the first few minutes, as used to be my prelude to any program, I gave my listeners an exercise.
I asked everyone of them: "What could be the animal or bird which best portrays their own characteristics?" I told them to write the name of the animal or bird on their own notepad.
Having allowed a minute for this, I again asked to visualise again. This time I told them to spot the animal or bird which their spouses thought exhibits them. Again write it on the notepad.
Having assured them, that I would never be embarrassing them to reveal the answers in public, I asked them to write the names in a paper and look at the names now.
As everyone was looking at, some laughed while some others roared, as some hissed, as some heaved a sigh.
Evidently, everyone had a new awareness. It dawned on everyone that his own perception about himself varies widely with the perception of his spouse about him.
We feel we are lambs whereas our spouses feel that we are lions.
We feel we are pretty smart, when our spouses feel we are but do-nothings.
This exercise was repeated once again, as between self and the boss OR self and his subordinate.
The difference in perceptions were seen to be bewilderingly wide and wild also.
Most of my listeners felt that were doves when they were perceived as hawks by their subordinates.
Most of the listeners (who were knowledge-workers) were feeling themselves as very intelligent and brilliant, when the perception of their managers was "intelligent but useless also".
It is true therefore that the way we perceive ourselves is not reflected either totally or in part as perceived by our own kith and kin.
Is it not high time we reflect on why this happens.
Again, if this perception differs within a well-knit unit, will not the difference widen as the circle enlarges?
It is for everyone in the soceity to reflect.
As we reflect on this more and more, we try to minimise the gap between the differing perceptions.
We make ourselves more receptable or acceptable to others or vice versa.
And this means, that we are moving towards a closer relationship.
And the first move in this direction is OPENNESS in COMMUNICATION.
What is OPENNESS?
It means that whenever i say something, I mean what I say.
And secondly, the person, to whom I speak, also believes in what I say.
But we can be OPEN only when we TRUST that other person.
That is where the element of TRUST springs up.
So Whenever there is trust in communication levels, levels of freedom enhance.
With greater freedom, your discussions enter a new zone or a new horizon.
That means that your spouse or your subordinate talks to you with greater trust and with greater confidence.
Here there is no space which is dark.
The discussion then becomes simple and straight.
You agree or disagree.
Whenever you disagree, that disagreement is with dignity.
You are allowed the choice to ventilate your opinion. Even when your opinion is not followed, at the decision-making level, you have a feeling that you have been heard fully.
For the boss, he has heard all shades of thoughts fully.
Families or groups of whatever denomination or governments which act in these lines can only call themselves democratic.
I do not know whether everyone would agree.
But for all, yes..for all of us under the Sun to live happily,
a strong consensus is very much the need of hour.
And when that consensus develops, it will be HOPE AND HAPPINESS FOR MANKIND. October 15 We have one Life to Live and Love.On and on and On
We have been dwelling on the theme of Love and Happiness.
A panorama of Happiness envelopes all around us,
and enhances the quality of Happiness,
once we get to know really what
really takes us to be
Happy
Happier
Happiest.
True my earlier postings reveal a lot about this,
nevertheless,
when I stared at
what goes on in the blogs at random,
I found to my EUREKA
a sentence which
I hardly afford to forget.
It reads something like this:
I love my mom, dad, family and friends,
teachers, village, the gardens and.....
and the list gets larger day by day
What ? Did u ask : I hate whom?
Dear, When I start loving,
I do not have time to hate.
Let us all learn from this teenager.
To love and love and love,
and continue loving
All that we see
and shall see
till the day when
we cease to see.
Let the spirit of this youngster
Pervade all through the
Kingdom of God.
Love all
You Have Only One Life to Live
Let us live that life in a way to be remembered
by posterity.
The Only Way
L O V E A L L
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